Repercussions
by turtur6
Summary: Humorous story about Rush and Young's epic OOC romance. No spoilers.


**Repercussions**

**A/N: I had this fluffy kino!Eli discovers some slash plotbunny a while ago. Originally I was going to merge it with a serious post-Justice angst fic, but I never got around to that bit. Therefore, this became HUMOR.**

**Ships: Rush/Young, Eli-Chloe, Chloe/Matt**

**Warnings: Man-Luvins, spoilers, conjecture, and uncharacteristically dark humor**

**Disclaimer: **_**Stargate**_** belongs to MGM et al. RESPECT THEM.**

~?~

Eli gave Young a surprisingly clear look, free of confusion. "You think Rush is hiding something?"

Young was suddenly reminded that this boy really was a genius. "That's what I want you to tell me."

~?~

Eli hunched his shoulders to ease the ache in his lower back he had acquired after a week of standing over the Kino monitors, doing his duty for the Colonel. Young had "requested" that Eli "keep an eye on" Dr Rush, and Eli had been doing so diligently. Never say Eli Wallace couldn't a do a job when told! He had even copied all the files into a separate "folder" on his portable console. He made sure to watch every second of footage that didn't take place in the bathroom or Rush's private quarters; this was surveillance, not stalking, after all. For all his work, however, there was nothing to report. The only suspicious things Rush did were things everyone knew about.

On the screen, Rush walked to the "mess hall", ate a spoonful or two of gruel, sneered at Young, went to the chamber that held the control interface, stared at some monitors for a few hours (Every day, Eli thanked the Ancients for inventing fast-forward), walked around the Destiny with a slightly manic expression on his face, sneered at Young, ordered Brody to do something productive, went back to his "room" for half an hour (hopefully to sleep; Eli did _not_ want to know what else he might be doing in there otherwise), came out and went back to the mess hall to pretend to eat, laughed behind his hand at Matt and Chloe's shameless flirting (Eli wanted to punch Scott's face in but had to settle for replaying Chloe's face mid-giggle a few times), went back to the control room to tap his fingers and hopefully wonder how to get them back to Earth, sneered at Young…

Eli stood up straight again and winced as his spine cracked a little. All this "only gruel and alien water to consume and an actual fitness regime to skip out on" lifestyle stuff was killing him. Not that he was a lazy glutton or anything, but he just felt kind of hollow all the time now. He supposed that when he passed the five week mark, or whatever it was, that he'd get used to it and actually get in shape for once, but as of now it was a real pain. If the whole situation wasn't so awesome, he'd probably be totally miserable right now.

Not that he was feeling that hot at the moment

A noise startled him into attention. Seeing the limping Colonel Young enter the room, the younger man nervously started composing his speech in his head. _Don't you worry, sir, he couldn't get away with squat under your watch!_ Yeah, right.

"Eli. How's the reconnaissance going?"

"_Fan_tastic, sir!" Eli's chipper smile fell slightly when Young's craggy features refused to be swayed and remained stern. "I mean- I've been keeping watch on Dr Rush nearly 24/7!"

"Nearly? Nearly isn't good enough, Eli. If Rush is up to something shady, we _need_ to find out. The lives of everyone on board depend on it!"

"I know, I just meant-"

"No more breaks." Young scowled goodbye and stomped off.

Eli sighed. "But I haven't been… oh, forget it." He ran a hand through his hair and went back to his mission.

~?~

The console screen was on low brightness and on mute, and Eli was snoring softly onto the side. The screen hummed quietly, replaying Rush's action from earlier that day. Eli's hand twitched in his sleep, and, since it still lay on the keypad, jogged up the volume to a soft hiss, still unintelligible. He twitched again, his eyelids fluttering in REM sleep. The volume hiked enough to be discerned into words.

"Not here- not where someone could see us-!" There was a tinny thunk. "Colonel!"

Eli's eyebrows scrunched together, his subconscious' wanderings suddenly interrupted by the sound of a frantic Scotsman.

"Fine. Meet me in my quarters in half an hour."

That was disturbing enough to actually wake Eli up. He took a moment to blink the sleep from his eyes and forced himself to concentrate what was going on onscreen. Rush had walked to the console room, looking a little nonplussed, and now was entering something into the computer. Eli zoomed in, struggling to read the slightly blurry Ancient characters Rush was selecting rapidly. It almost looked like he was shutting down the system, but… somehow… why would he…?

An alarm blared from the console's speakers, and onscreen Rush grinned triumphantly and exited the action on the monitor. Eli blinked and gaped like a fish in utter shock. He double checked the time. It was the same! Frowning, Eli recalled the incident. At around noon that day there had been a leak in one part of the ship. Young and Rush had gone to fix it; the rest of the Destiny's tenants had waited with bated breath for their most important leaders. About an hour later, they returned: sweaty, banged up, but victorious. Everyone had suddenly become a lot warmer towards the doctor, and had congratulated Young for getting Rush to be a hero for once.

But the whole thing had been a trick! Rush had faked the leak in order to have time to do something, Eli didn't know what, without getting interrupted. The shocking thing was that Young was in on it too! Eli shook his head and gritted his teeth. Well, the Colonel should have realized that the guy recording Rush's every move on the kinos would have found out about their little ruse sooner or later! Eli repressed the urge to cackle and rub his hands together. He suddenly realized that this was how Rush must have felt after kicking Telford and his cronies off the Destiny.

~?~

"_Colonel."_

_Young looked up from his book. It was a Robert Ludlum; he had actually borrowed it from Rush a few weeks ago and was just about finished. _

"_Doctor."_

"_I faked a leak in a remote part of the Destiny. I'd say we have about an hour. I told them that I was getting you to help me fix it," he elucidated._

"_That's a dirty trick, Rush."_

_Rush smiled, looking simultaneously grim and playful in that particular mad scientist way he had. "You know you like it."_

_And then he pulled his shirt off._

~?~

Eli choked on his alien water.

_~?~_

_Rush tumbled into the bed, attaching his mouth to his superior's neck ravenously. "God, I've been so bloody _bored_," he murmured. "Kept thinking about you…."_

"_Same with me." Young replied, his gravelly voice made huskier with sex. "Now stop talking. I know you can do better things with your mouth."_

_Rush grinned fiendishly. "Greedy boy."_

_Young just started unbuttoning his pants._

~?~

Eli shut the monitor off, burying his head in his hands and attempting to forget the images that seemed now to have become his mental desktop background. He was now officially scarred for life.

And he was never going to kinowatch again. EVER.

~?~

"Hullo, Eli."

The sound of a slightly annoyed Scottish accent reached Eli's ears, bringing back terrible memories of his discovery the previous day.

"Um, hi."

"Is something wrong?"

Eli turned around, a grotesque parody of a smile on his face. "F-fine, Doctor Rush! Just fine!"

"Sure it is, Eli." Rush put out a hand of compassion. "You know that we can't afford to have secrets here." _Ha. Irony._ "If something's bothering you, then you should talk to someone."

Eli shook his head frantically, moving away from the doctor's hand. "Fine, I'll talk to TJ."

As he ran out of the room, he thought he heard Rush mutter "That woman gets more attention than anyone on this ship, dammit."

~?~

Eli was barricading himself in his room.

His excuse was that he had a headache. But he figured that that excuse was going to wear out pretty fast, so he was doing his best to fake flu symptoms. He hadn't done this since high school. It was a lot harder than he remembered it.

Anyway, Young and Rush both seemed to be seeking him out everywhere he went. And since he couldn't see either of them without picturing both of them _together_, he was hiding himself in his room and faking a migraine.

This wasn't going to end well.

**TBC… **

**I have to think of a plot device first, though.**


End file.
